Friday, August 06, 2010

Just another day!

Well we've certainly had a very hot, humid summer so far. Of course it would be the summer we chose not to go away anywhere. The money we might have used to pay for a vacation was applied towards a new fridge which we were in desperate need of. The seals on the old fridge were no longer any good, and the fridge was going from warm to extra cold. We had so many things freeze each week, or another time the temp. would be too high. An ideal place for getting food poisoning, and watching food spoil. Definitely time for a new refridgerator. We went out shopping, checking out prices, brands and styles. Finally settled on a fridge with a bottum drawer freezer, and the double doors. Has a little more space, and actually keeps the food at a normal temp. so we are quite happy with our purchase.

Thank goodness for air conditioning. It certainly makes a big difference on these hot nights we are experiencing. It also makes for some great relief after I've spent the day running about all over in the heat. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who are enjoying these warm temperatures, and making the most of the these days for sunning themselves, and enjoying the many water activities that the summer offers.

It would certainly be a nice time to be at a cottage, sitting under the shade of the trees, or jumping off the dock into the lovely cool water, and having the opportunity to swim about, and cool off. As the day passes by, it would be nice to make a trip back down to the dock for some fishing, and to sit and view the splendour of the setting sun, a brilliant yelow/orange and even red hues, as it slowly drops down below the trees in all it's glory. The day wouldn't be over yet. Soon it would be time to start the campfire, and sit down to relax and unwind with family and friends, roasting marshmallows, sharing some stories, and listening to the quiet of the evening. Off in the distance, one of the many sounds I love to listen to, is the sound of the loons as they call back and forth to one another. Occasionally we'd hear a the croaking of a bullfrog, or the swoosh of wings as a bat dips down in it's chase for bugs. High above us the stars glow brightly, and we are able to see the Big and small Dipper. It's really amazing how much more you can see when you're out in the wide open spaces away from the city lights.
As the fire slowly burns out, we all start making our way back to our own cottages, where it's time to think about heading off to bed. But wait... it's not bedtime yet. It's the perfect time to curl up with a good book, and to enjoy some quiet time with no TV or phones to disturb anyone. It's nice to be able to enjoy a book and to read till your tired, knowing that if you want you can actually sleep in the next morning. It's also a great time to get up and watch the sunrise, or to try my hand at fishing once again.

Ah, it's time to wake up. Well I was up at the crack of dawn today, unable to sleep because of the pain. Seems the narrowing of the spinal column or spinal stenosis as they call it, can be quite painful, sending sharp pains into my hip and down my leg. I just couldn't get comfortable once I woke up, and I couldn't stand the pain. All I wanted to do was to stretch out on my back and to ease into my pillow and sleep. Unfortunately the one thing that you would think would help only makes it worse. Laying down brings the pain on, and the only way I can get any sleep these days is by laying on my other side, and grabbing a little sleep here and there. This morning I'm so, so tired, and although I've taken some pain medication, it's not done a whole lot in relieving my pain today.
It's something it seems I must either learn to live with, or face back surgery. Not a very pleasant thought. Neither is!

Anyway, the day is half done now, so I really need to get moving and get something done. The best thing I can manage is to just take things one day at a time, and keep trusting in God to lead me through where ever he would have me be.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Tues. Oct. 20th.

Here it is Oct. 20th. I don't even know anymore where my days seem to disappear to, but the time just seems to go by so fast. Perhaps the busyness of my days is the reason. Running two teens around, trying to keep track of their various working schedules, along with sports events for my youngest. They seem to have a practice or game every day of the week. Then there's my father who I take to dialysis three mornings a week, and any extra appointments, errands etc. I end up taking him to as well. Then someplace in there I have to schedule my own appointments. This month has been rather hectic as I attempt to fit in more than usual in preparation for my cataract surgery coming up, and knowing that the specialist would rather I am not driving for approx. two weeks after that. I'm sure my eldest will be happy to hear that she can take the car and actually have it to drive around that week...well that's if I decide to allow her... lol

The streets around our neighbourhood are being torn up all over the place as they put in new water pipes and sewer pipes I believe. Sometimes we don't have water, and a lot of the people in the one area have to end up parking their cars all along the various roads. So far we've had the use of our drive, although there were a few times I wondered if we'd be able to get out of it. With all the trucks and the various supplies stashed along the roadway, I've wondered how I'd get out and around them. There are long rubber pipes, piles of sand & gravel, huge cement things and a number of things I have no idea about. Today was one of those days that we did without water. Apparently they broke a water line someplace with their digging and were having to dig up more ground and trying to locate and fix the broken line. Each day for almost a month now, it's been a constant drum of noise as the various trucks and tractors drive back and forth and in and out of the streets, and bang and clunk things up and down and in and out. It's starts bright and early at 7am and goes right through till at least 5pm. Well at least most everyday. I do believe that they stop earlier on Friday's, and then there's a lunch time break when they all stop and sit down and eat their lunch. There is no ashphalt out anywhere along the road so when it rains it's a mass of mud and water. The more the trucks drive over the road the more holes that show up in the ground. I can't help wondering what kind of mess we will be stuck with once it grows colder and it snows? When will they be digging in front of our house and how long are we gonna have to park on another road and walk down to get the car? Definitely not something to look forward to once the snow starts to fall. I just hope that this doesn't happen on the day of my eye surgery!!

On another note, I've been doing much better since my knee replacement surgery. I don't have the constant pain 24/7 like I used to. Unfortunately having my knees done hasn't got rid of the pain I'm having from my sciatica, but so far it's been something I can tolerate after all the pain I used to get. I've even been going out with a friend and trying to do some walking when I can. The other day I walked half a mile, which was a real accomplishment for me. The past few years or more have been really difficult for me to do any walking as the pain was just so bad, and my knees would also give out on me. Anyway, I just need to get out there walking and 'try' to get in better shape if nothing else.

Having been doing much reading because of my cataract. The more I try to read the blurry it seems to go, so I'm looking forward to some down time and hopefully better vision when the surgery is all done.

Hubby just got back from his hunting trip. They were about a 6 or 7 hour drive north of Barrie. Only six of them went hunting for moose, but they got two moose, so at least we can be thankful for some meat in the freezer...something that takes the place of my buying cuts of beef over the winter.

Just learned that the pastor of our church has accepted a calling way up in Thunder Bay starting in 2010. I imagine it will be a big change for him and his family, being so far north, and much further away from both of their families, but I certainly wish them all the best as they make this change and trust that we will be able to find another Pastor who will work out. Both of my daughters have babysat for them, and I've even filled in to help with the childcare at times. They've been here for 10 years and become part of our church family, so it will be sad to see them leave. I'm sure they will be missed!! Seems to be many changes happening lately. Weddings, funerals, farewells... but I suppose it's all just a part of life.

Today was a gorgeous sunny fall day. The temp. got up into the 60's which was a most welcome thing. Almost a perfect day in regards to least in my view. I meant to get out for a walk, but just had too many errands to do. At least I was in and out, and had the car windows open all the time I was out. Something I won't likely be doing for some time now if the weatherman is right.

If you're reading this, I hope that your life is going well, and that all your dreams will come true. God Bless You.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Who Says a Proper Lady Can't Carry a Knife?

Introducing a new author....

Check out the following site: to learn more about her newest book "MY UNFAIR LADY, along with some of the other books Kathryne has written. You'll be glad that you did.


For anyone who is interested in some stories about magic, mayham, fantasy and romance, I do believe you will enjoy her books.

Happy reading.


Saturday, April 04, 2009

Springs Promise

It's springtime here in Canada, although it's progression is somewhat different in each of the various provinces. Our west coast is usually further ahead with its spring buds, and flowers as their temperatures rise quicker. Still it has been a strange winter, and we have heard of many winter storms hitting B.C. including the Vancouver area and on the island. It's not that they don't get snow there, it's just that they don't usually see very much of it, especially in comparison to what we see here in Ontario.

We have already had some mild, sunny days where all we needed was a light sweater, but today that was not the case. We awoke to find a light layer of snow all over everything, and a cold winter wind. It is the beginning of April so we know that it is unlikely that it will stay for very long, but it's still is something we are tired of seeing at this point in time.

With the changing seasons comes a change in the types of sports that are being played within the schools. One of my daughters is really into sports. In September she started off by playing basketball, then progressed to volleyball, and now she is into rugby. She is also on a rep team that plays basketball against other teams in a certain area, which has meant some travelling to various towns and cities. This weekend she has been off playing various games and competing against other teams. She left early this morning to go to Toronto, and won't be returning till late tonight. It is something she really enjoys, and seems to also do well in. It's never been something I was very good at or able to do, but it seems that many of the sports are played according to the different season's.

With the arrival of spring comes the promise of fresh new life. new growth, warmer temperatures, and cool nights. For many it is a time of awakening after a long, cold winter. A time when many 'spring' into life and busyness as they change their patterns of living, and try to become more active again. Spring cleaning, cleaning up the mess left around from winter, raking, planting, making plans, walking and getting out more are just a few of the things people do. With April, comes the traditional spring showers, and Eastertime. A time when many celebrate the arrival of the Easter bunny, with his basket full of chocolate goodies and treats. Good Friday - a day that is celebrated in memory of that time when Christ was forced to walk through the streets and carry the same cross that He was nailed and hung upon. Easter Sunday -a day when we celebrate God's gift of eternal life, the day when Christ rose from the dead, and left the tomb where He had been laid, and showed us the true miracle of His walk from death into life ~ a brand new, fresh start of eternal life.

It is a time of renewed life, faith, trust, and hope in the promise of all God has provided for us. It is the promise of awakening life, a fresh new start, a reason to have hope, and as well a reason to have faith in what is yet to come.

Put on your Easter bonnet, your new spring outfit, or something that brings the brightness of spring into your heart. Go for a walk, a run, or maybe even skip joyously along. Yesterday is done and over, and we hope the same goes for winter. We cannot change what is behind us, but we can learn from it, and look forward to a bright new tomorrow. Even more, we can be truly thankful for what we have TODAY... live, love, laugh and make the most of what God has blessed us with Today, living it to the fullest with God at the helm.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Past

This is a poem I wrote quite some time back, and never really finished, so now I've tried.........

I sit here in a stupor
Wondering just what to do
Looking all around me
And feeling rather blue.

I'm not sure what to offer
Or even what to say
I'm looking all around me,
And watch as skies turn gray.

My life is full of turmoil
With things that shouldn't be
I cannot stand the anger
Or words that come too freely.

I try to keep the noise down
To entertain the kids
To keep the housework finished
And make sure things are hid.

To make sure meals are ready
And that I'm always here
Or if I go off shopping
To always be right near.

I cannot speak to neighbours
Especially not the men
So most the time I sit here
With paper and a pen.

My friends don't come to visit
Most felt they couldn't stay
And seldom could I visit them
So now they've gone their way.

I often walked around in fear
And worried how to act
Afraid to say the wrong things
And trying to use some tact.

Things were always screwed up,
Filled with stress and strife
I felt like quite a stranger
Instead of someone's wife.

I always felt so tensed up
Not sure of what to do.
Until things reached an impact
And the fear in me just grew.

The anger seemed to grow within me
No longer could I hold it in
I left to do my own thing
But knew I'd never win.

And on that fateful day
When I went to see a friend,
I came back when I wanted to
Instead upon demand.

That night turned into terror
When I got punched in the face
Then the police were called upon.
While I tried to seek out God's grace.

It was a night so filled with fear,
All alone I sat that night
My children in another's care
So full of fear and fright.

Life changed for us completely
Within that awful time
When fear took over all my life
It was an awful crime.

Thankfully things change with time
And fears start to subside
My life changed so completely
And God did so provide.

Those things are distant memories.
Life goes on, although it is subdued
No matter what went on within the past
We can only live our lives right through.

A Mystery

Life is a mystery
Of that I am sure
There is much that we do not know
So much that is a blur.

Things we could guess at
With lots that we cannot
Things that we might learn from
So much info that has been sought.

No matter what the story
There is only one who knows
The true answers to all things
That all His knowledge shows.

He is the true creator
Our Father from above
He is the one to turn to
The Lord and God of LOVE.

Jan. 11, 2009

Monday, November 03, 2008

Mon. Nov. 3, 2008

Where does the time go to? It's been awhile since I last came to post anything. There always seems to be lots of things to do, or I'm not really feeling up to doing much of it. Since I last posted, I've had knee replacement surgery and spent a week in the hospital. It actually wasn't as bad as what I was expecting, but one thing I know, is that they really need to make sure people are given enough pain medication for those first few weeks in order to keep the pain lowered so they can get enough sleep through the nights and be able to get about during the day and do the things that need to be done. I'm not trying to kid anyone by saying that there was no pain, because there was, but it was tolerable in that I was able to get through it and not be afraid to get the other knee done. I'm more than prepared to get the other knee done now that I know what to expect. It's so very nice not to have the constant pain 24/7 in my right knee like I was getting before, and thankfully they did the surgery on the knee that was the worst.
The day that I went in to have the surgery, I was really worried about what to expect, and concerned about all the possible risks that come along with any kind of surgery. They gave me a sedative to relax me then got all of my information and vitals, and rolled me into surgery. Once there they did a spinal and froze the lower half of my body and started the surgery. An additional sedative helped relax me more, but I remained awake and only drowsy. I wasn't really able to see very much without my glasses and the sheet that they draped up in front of me. I knew they were moving my leg around and painting it with iodine/disenfectant. I'm not really sure how long the surgery actually took, but at least when it was done and over with I was moved to the recovery room for a little while then up to my room, where at least I was awake and not having to worry about the effects of any anesthetic. They got me up the following morning to move as far as the bathroom, and each day it was a little more moving and bending the leg till I could get more movement out of it. My surgery was a Tues. and I was back home on the Tues. I was still in a lot of pain that week and struggling to get around, but I managed. Physiotherapy helped along with just regular use of my leg and knee along with some pain medication to help me through the worst of it. While it still hurts at times, it is nothing in comparison to the constant pain that I used to get all of the time. At least now I can get around better with much less pain.

We also managed to get away on our vacation in August, and I was able to start driving and getting around better. Jen was also able to drive which made it much easier to do things, and now she actually has her driver's licence which she managed to get in Sept.

With the changing weather, and drop in the temperature, along with much damper weather, I am finding it a struggle again to get around on my other knee which is still full of arthritis. I am also finding I am struggling with the pain from the fibromyalgia some days, but I know that is gonna be a problem anyway. Now if I could just get out walking more, and start losing some weight, I imagine it would help to reduce my weight and possibly help with the pain.

Anyway, life goes on....!!

There have been many other situations to deal with around here, some of which I can't get into. One thing that happened at the end of our holidays, is that Earl developed pain in his one leg, and after he returned to work, found it very painful and hard to stand on. The leg also swelled up, and had a large bruise on it, so he ended up going to emergency only to learn that he had a rather large blood clot in his leg. They put him on pain medication as well as blood thinners, and he had to keep his leg up and rested for quite some time as well as not being able to drive, so I had to be driving him all over for awhile. Thankfully he is now back to work, and we are anxious for his first pay check to finally come in, and try to get some bills paid, before they start shutting things down on us.

The girls are both in high school, and J is still working at McD's. It's gonna be a lot more work for her this year and next so hopefully she's able to get through it all. B got involved in the basketball team shortly after school started and she had been enjoying that every since. K is also there this year. They are growing up so fast!!
Well, we are into November now, and it won't be long till winter arrives. Yikes....not looking forward to that, or the winter driving and especially not in letting J drive through it. It can be pretty rough driving around here.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Prayers Needed

Tues. Feb. 12, 2008
It's 3:30 am and I just can't seem to sleep. I'm fighting off a headache, dealing with muscle pain from the fibromyalgia, fighting sinus problems, and trying to calm a mind that won't seem to stop going this night. I'm worried about my cousin who is going through tests for cancer, and I know her family is going through an awful time right now as they also worry about their daughter. Although she is 30 years old and old enough to make her own decisions and choices in life, I'm concerned that she may be in grave danger. She's been dealing with alcoholism, and as a result of this, lost her son to children's aid. Because of that she's just been drifting in and out of relationships and has just recently been badly beaten up and terribly abused by this guy she moved in with. It has only been a few weeks since he broke her jaw, and left her badly bruised and afraid. He was arrested for abuse, and has just got out of jail. I just learned that she has now left the safety of her families home and gotten onto a bus to go back to this guy. She has been offered all sorts of help, and has a family who wants to help her, but she won't accept their help.There is deep concern about what might happen to her once this guy has her back in his place.
Please, if anyone reads this, could you please pray for her. Her name is Cheri. I'm so worried about her and the choices she is making in her life, which I fear are only clouded over by the alcohol and pain of what she has been going through.
Father God, Please place a hedge of protection around Cheri and keep her safe from all harm. Please help her to realize her need to have you back in her life, held in the palm of your hands and surrounded by your love. In Jesus name. Amen.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

God's Creations

Pretty little petals
So soft and smooth
Falling from the flowers
Drifting to the ground.
Delicate and silky
Lovely and small
So many bright colours
That shine for us all.
Flowers that bloom
Within the garden beds
Each one so special
And so wonderfully made.
All are God's creations
His gifts to the world
Each with it's own beauty
And so lovely to behold.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Happy New Year.

Another New Year is upon us. It is now 2008!!

Another New Year !

We are already half way through the month of January, 2008. This month the weather has been crazy. We have gone through mild spells and made some record highs for this time of year. All the snow melted and disappeared, and it was just like a nice spring day for a little while. Now the temp has dropped again, and once again, the ground is white. Mind you there isn't a whole lot of the stuff out there, but just enough to make it slippery, and to remind us that winter is still here.

In less than a week, my lovely daughter will be turning 16 years of age. Another milestone in her life, and a year for many changes, thoughts and opportunities. One thing I know she is planning to do is to get her driver's license. A smart thing to get in todays society, and with the way things are nowadays. Transportation is an important and neccessary part of our lives, and independence and having the ability to drive ones self is really a good thing for any person to have. It might be difficult going through the various processes to reach that point of independence, but I think it is well worth it, and something I would advise everyone to get, especially other women.

According to my daughter she is now officially old enough to get a tatoo if she wants to. She is now old enough to drive. She is now old enough to make more important decisions for herself. She also claims she is old enough to walk out of here and get her own place. I wonder how many teens her age thing the same thing?

We are always in a rush to grow up, to gain our independence and freedom, to go out into the world, and to do the things we think we need to rush into. If we only had the ability to know what we know now, and to walk these same pathways as a young teen again. I know I would certainly make some changes in what I would do, and try to learn from what others have already done.

I know I would certainly have lived at home longer, and taken advantage of a free or cheap place to live, three meals on the table, a place to keep my laundry done, my own room, and only a few chores to do. Of course there were things my parents and I didn't always agree with, but it was still a lot easier than trying to manage out there all alone, and try to attend school, go to work and pay for everything. There are certainly better things one can do for one's self, and better ways to spend one's money. With the cost of schooling, especially college and university, it's always good to have something to put away towards ones education.

Still life goes on. Now I will see what happens around here with my life, and that of my beloved children.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Our cat Scooter

Scooter is around 7 months old. No one really knows for sure as she was found shivering and huddled behind a local restaurant one spring day with her one ear shredded and bleeding. She was only a little kitten when she was found, and she had to be taken to a shelter, then rushed to a vet. They tried to save it, but it was damaged too much, and the vet had to ambutate the ear. After that she was placed in a foster home until she got better, and could be put up for adoption. That's when we found her. She was so cute & cuddly and loving, that we just couldn't resist her. Some people might not think her so cute because of the missing ear, but I've learned that you can never judge anyone by their outward appearance. She now has her forever home, and some other companions, and we love her lots.

Review of 2007

Friday, December 14, 2007
Another year is almost over. We are already almost half way through December. People are counting down the days till Christmas. I haven't even put up my Christmas tree or decorations or done many of the things that I usually so. It just seems that the hustle and bustle of the holiday season gets busier every year with so many things to be done. I used to try and get all of my holiday preparations done early...sending out Christmas cards, writing letters, going shopping, baking, putting up the Christmas tree, and cleaning and decorating around the house. Hmmm, I don't have very many of those jobs done this year.Things are becoming far too commercialized, and expensive. There are just too many demands put upon my time and those of my family. On top of that I am having a lot of problems with my health, and my ability to do the things that I once did.

This year there will be some gifts, but not a whole lot. This year I will be lucky to get any real cleaning and decorating done either. I've come to realize that there are limits to what I am capable of doing and of what I will do at this point. I hate the fact that I can't do the things that I once used to. There is only a week till Christmas. It is physically impossible for me to do it all. Hopefully the girls will be able to pitch in and help out, however I have my doubts on that. Both of them seem to have a lot of demands on their time as well, mostly with jobs or babysitting, school work and their own social life, so we shall see.Recently we added another cat 7 months old to our already busy household of two dogs and a cat. Despite the added financial cost, they provide a lot of extra love, and companionship, and I would be lost without them. I love animals, and if I had a bigger place I would have a houseful of them. For now I will enjoy the ones we have.My dad continues to go for dialysis three times a week, and although his vision is much worse, he is still able to manage on his own at this point in time, along with my help.

I continue to help out with administrative work in our church, and at the moment have had a lot of extra work to do there as we have recently joined up with another church, so it should be interesting as we get into the new year. Thankfully I still have my special friends, and hopefully will make some new ones there as well.I still live with constant 24/7 pain from my arthritis and the fibromyalgia, along with the chronic fatigue and various other health issues that I seem to routinely deal with. Some days it is a real struggle just to get about and do the things that I must do. Often there are things that don't get done, and jobs that I used to get done that are suffering. Perhaps one day I will be blessed to see a miracle happen. Life goes on, and so must I.

Times are changing, and if I want to go with the flow, I need to make changes as well. Somehow I need to learn to manage my time and my schedule a little better, and do certain things when my health permits.
For now I just try to do what I can, and to just take things "One Day at a Time


Christmas is over for another year. At the last moment, well a few days before Christmas, Becca decided to dig the Christmas tree out of the crawl space and put it up after I had spent some time cleaning a spot in the dining room area. We don't use it as a dining room. That's where the dogs beds are, and my one desk, and a few other things, so why not a tree. Our house is crowded, and small. There is no extra space to even put the things that we already have, but hey, the tree is up, and it was nice to see it there, as well as to have a place to put the parcels under.

Everyone was tired this year and stressed out. I wasn't feeling good with either a flu bug or something and Becca was down sick with a cold and sinus infection, fever , ear aches etc. All the things that made us both want to say bah humbug....let me just crawl in bed and sleep. Instead, I felt that I had to keep going, had to make sure there was a proper meal, had to make sure that everything was done for the sake of my family and my father. There was a lot of fuss & fighting as we all stressed out and tried to clean up and pick up things to make sure my father wouldn't fall over anything as he can't see much. As well, I was worried about the mess and afraid with it being Christmas someone might happen to drop by as well. I certainly wasn't after perfection, but I just wanted to see some things picked up and out of the way so there was a little more space for getting through.

On Monday we went to visit my son & his family and to exchange gifts and make sure the grandchildren had their parecels as they were going away for Christmas to their other grandparents. We had pizza, but as the evening progressed I began feeling sicker and sicker and by the time we got home, all I could do was crawl in bed. Good thing I woke up in the middle of the night to make sure that 'santa' was able to take care of things.

I did manage to get dinner taken care of the following day and make sure everyone was ok before I crashed and had to lay down. I never did partake of the Christmas dinner, but by the time they had all finished eating, I was able to get some gravol down and spend a little time with everyone, as well as my visiting nephews before I had to go back to bed. That was at least good, and thankfully my hubby was able to take dad down home. Good thing as it wasn't long before we were all in bed.

The days are passing swiftly and we are almost at the end of another year. Just one more day....
I wonder how many people look back at the past year and can highlight special events, projects and things they've done or people that they've spent time with? I always feel at a loss for words when it comes to sharing the events of the past year with others. My life doesn't really hold any special highlights or at least not many that I care to mention.

During this past year daughter #1 turned 15 years old and started working at her first real job at McDonalds. She also spent a day going to work with a friend, and ended up working at Coles Book store part time for 3 months as well. So her life has consisted of school, working and friends.

Daughter #2 started doing a lot more babysitting as her sister gradually gave her jobs up. She turned 13 years old, and started her last year of grade school with plans to enjoy her last year together with friends, and seeing what all she could accomplish in her various sports events and running, and doing quite well too.

Hubby spent much of his time either working or puttering around with his guns and going to the gun range with his brother. He also spent time fighting in arbitration with his work and after two years of this nonesense, and being given a demotion, he finally managed to win and get back a job he had applied for as a mechanic in the cold end which meant more pay thankfully as it has been a difficult time. His mood continues to swing, and a good deal of the time things have been very unpleasant around here.

Me, well I seem to spend all of my time either running my father back and forth to dialysis, or running errands such as banking and shopping for him. As well, I seem to be constantly running #1 back and forth to work, or #2 to sports or babysitting, or trying to accomplish a few things around the house while dealing with constant sickness and continueing pain.
We did manage to get away to a cottage for three weeks this year and it was the first time ever that we had that much time together. Unfortunately it is a vacation that wasn't much of a holiday and one I'd sooner forget.

I started spending some of my time volunteering at the SPCA once a week when I was able to go in, and working with the cats giving them some freedom and play time. We also picked out a cat that was there, and decided to go all the way in actually getting another cat...something we have thought about for quite some time. So now we have two dogs, and two cats. This is something I really enjoy, however my health has also interferred in my getting out to do this as much as I'd like. I really do love spending time with the animals.

We seem to see more of my son & family over this past year and things are a lot better between us all. On the off -side to that, I rarely see any of my side of the family as they choose to stick to themselves and go their own way.

That's my year... no fabulous vacations, so special events, no special projects around the house, and nothing memorable to share.

I certainly hope that the coming new year of 2008 proves to be a much better year for everyone amongst family & friends, in relationships, and financially, so as I look ahead to this year drawing to a close, I just want to say this......


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Just checking in

It's been awhile since I last came on here, or sat down to do any of my writing of poetry or short stories on another site. I can't believe how quickly time seems to move on by. It's hard to keep up with all the various things going on in my life, and often feeling sick or dealing with the constant, never ending pain that I seem to suffer with.

My life seems to have taken on an endless schedule of running back and forth with my dad as I take him back and forth to dialysis three mornings a week, as well as take him out shopping, and to various appointmets. To add to that, my eldest daughter has taken on a job working for McDonalds. The hours are really crazy. I never know what time of day or night I'm going to be driving her there, or picking her up. So far her earliest shifts have been to start at 7:00am, while the latest shift was 11:15 pm. Then recently she did two overnight shifts, on a Friday and Saturday evening, working from 11pm to 7am. Not too bad if you managed to get some sleep prior to the first shift, but when you've attended school, and then been out with friends before you go into work. This coming weekend she's going to start an early shift and be there before 6am. Yuk....I really hate these varied hours. Then to add to this, my youngest was delivering newspapers twice a week, as well as doing a variety of babysitting. Spring came and went, and so did the summer. I never did get to go to our friends place to go swimming in their pool. We did finally get to go away on vacation time. This year we were blessed to have three weeks away at our favorite holiday place in Bancroft, Ontario. I really love it up there, and love being in the cottage looking out over the lake. When I'm there, I look forward to a swim in the lake, watching the sunsets, going fishing, listening to the call of the loons, and watching them swimming and diving down into the water. This year, J was allowed to have a friend come up and join her for the first week, and the second week my son and his family came up to stay in the cottage right next to us, so we were able to spend time with them and spend time with the grandchildren. During that week, we spend some time travelling to a few different places such as Algonquin Park. The kids seemed to enjoy stopping by at the various museums, and lakes etc.

Unfortunately the whole vacation was ruined by someone being most unpleasant with everyone there, and basically making it a very stressful time for us all. By the time I got home, I wished I had never gone away. I could have enjoyed myself better at home all by myself, or gone to spend time with some friends. Anyway, that never happened!! I'm really not sure I ever want to take another family vacation again. I came home feeling very low, and along with not feling very well, found myself fighting a number of emotions, and regretting some past decisions. Anyway, life moves on!

With Sept. came some changes, and the girls started back to school, and I returned to my busy, schedule of running both them and my father around.

Now we are officially into autumn, although it's pretty much over now and we are entering the winter season. This past weekend was our local Santa Clause Parade, and also the big one in Toronto. I missed them both unfortunately, and I have always loved watching the various parades. Oh well, there are always things on TV and often these events are much the same anyway. Just another year.....

What Lurks in the Shadows

Deep in the shadows, along the line of trees,
I catch a glimpse of shining eyes, that seem to follow me.
I pause to take a closer look, but nothing can I see
It's just that eerie feeling, that runs deep down in me.

I feel my body tremble, from the ever growing cold
As I go further down the path, not sure of what I'll see.
Afraid to stop I look around, and see those piercing eyes.
I know there's something lurking, in the shadow of the trees.

Then suddenly it comes to me, with fear and clarity
The danger that is out there, in the shadow of the trees.
I try to walk on faster, and hope I show no fear
As each step takes me closer, to the safety of my car.

I see a sudden movement, out of the corner of my eye
But I force myself to move on, with an ever growing speed.
Then suddenly I look up, as I go around the bend
And there not far ahead of me, I finally see my car.

Again I glance around me, as I quicken up my pace
And that is when I realize, I now can see the face.
No longer is it hiding, in the shadow of the trees
It is the biggest wolf I've seen, since I first came to be.

I rifle in my pocket, till my keys are in my hand
Then with not much time to spare, I take off on the run.
I dare not look around me, as every moment counts
I reach the car and jump inside, and finally slam the door.

Those piercing eyes are out there, beside my driver's door,
I tremble as I see them, not two, but I count four.
The time just seems to slip by, I sit and shake in fear
Then finally start the motor, as I stare outside the car.

No longer will I come here,
Especially when its dark
I do not wish to risk my life,
As the prey to this great wolf.

copyrights by "Dawn"

My Father's Love

My Father's Love

Lord I really need you so
I need you in my life
I ask dear heavenly one,
That you will ease my strife.

Come into my heart today
Bless my family and my friends,
And let them know your sweetest love
Through all that you can send.

Please dear Lord, I ask of thee
Please bless my life as well.
Show me of your love this day
And keep me out of hell.

Give my family peace and joy
And teach me to survive,
Grant me faith and hope today
Show me all, while I'm alive!

Show me how to walk in love
And also with great pride
Let me be your heavenly child
So you can be my guide.

Father how I worship you
And seek to know your will
You died upon that lowly cross
And yet you love me still.

You gave your life for everyone
For all mankind you died
And then you rose again that day
To always be my guide.

Because of all that you went thro'
I now have been set free,
So I can place my trust in you,
For all eternity.
copyrights "Dawn"

Monday, April 16, 2007

Do you appreciate God's many blessings and all that you have?

Today is Monday, April 16th, 2007

Officially according to the calendar, we are already into the spring of our season. Does the weather indicate that it's spring? Well I suppose you could say that most of the snow has disappeared, but this morning it was trying to snow. Yes, it's the middle of April and it's trying to snow. It's bitter cold out there, with a really strong wind. I need to go out and do a little grocery shopping, but I really don't feel like going out in the cold today. Hopefully it will start to warm up this week and we will get some nice spring like temperatures. It would be nice to get out there and not have to wear a big heavy coat. Even the dogs are thinking the same thing. When the sun comes out they ask to go out, but once they get out there, they realize just how cold it actually is.

Even with the grey overcast skies, there is still some light up there and at times it looks like the sun might come out. The birds are still flying around, and looking for food. The red breasted robins are getting a full looking belly as they build their nests and prepare to lay eggs and wait for their young to arrive. At times I hear the shrill pitch of the blue jay up in one of the trees, and it trys to scare off some other bird, or a squirrel that is trying to take over someone's nest. The squirrels are out running all over the place gathering up food, and checking around for their mates. As the trees sway gentle in the wind, they continue to draw moisture from the ground and from the air, as they slowly form little buds underneath their bark. Many gardens are already full of brightly colored flowers such as crocus, and daffodils, and other spring beauties.
No matter how miserable the weather seems to be, there is always something of great beauty out there, and one of God's many wonderful creations.

In the meantime, I am able to sit here in the warmth of my own home, and to enjoy looking outside at the beauty of God's many creations around me. I know I am blessed to be able to make the choice of staying inside or going out into this weather.

There are a lot of homeless people out there...whether by choice or not, but they are stuck out in this weather, and all types of weather conditions. I wonder just how many of them are able to appreciate God's blessings, and the many beautiful things around them? Then again, I wonder how many people who are blessed are able to recognize those things and to appreciate what they have? What do you think?

Sunday, April 08, 2007


Hello Everyone! Hope you all had a great Easter weekend. I'm wondering just how many of you even use your blogs anymore, or post to them. For so long no one seemed to be posting anything, or reading, so I just seemed to stop coming here. I've decided I want to start coming back and posting once in awhile. I actually belong to another site called where I go to write, read others writing, and just basically share my stories, poems and life with others who do the same thing. I've really enjoyed spending time there writing. I don't proclaim to be that great at it, but it's something I enjoy, so I've decided that is what's most important, thus the reason I I've decided to share the odd thing that I've written on here.

How is everyone, or perhaps should I say is anyone even out there reading the blogs and writing on them anymore?? I sure hope so. I feel like I've been losing contact with people, and either sick all of the time or dealing with the constant pain that I have. You see this winter the pain got so bad in my one leg that it was all I could do to even stand up or walk. My knee gave out one day and the pain that shot down my leg and all through it almost made me pass out. Nothing seemed to touch the pain. I couldn't move my leg or do anything for quite some time. For quite some time after that I was having to use crutches to try and get about. I went to the ER but they said there wasn't anything they could do for me. They took some X-rays but determined that there was no cartiladge left between the knee and as it shifted it was bone on bone causing pain. I need a knee replacement...or actually two of them, but I need the left one done first when and if they get me an appointment with the dr/surgeon. Still waiting to here something, although it's been over a month since the dr. said she would arrange an appointment for me. No wonder those who can afford it are going to the states to get things done down there.

Easter weekend is drawing to a close. It was a cold snowy weekend here. Rather uneventful, and not one of the nicest. We really did not do much to celebrate it and I didn't waste my time buying a turkey or trying to go to all the fuss and bother of cooking one. I have been sick on and off for the past month, and I was not up to doing anything. I also cannot spend a lot of time standing because of the pain in my leg. I had two little chicken's in my freezer so I took them out and cooked them along with a little lamb roast that I had. I was going to have my father over, but he wasn't feeling good, my husband spend the whole day just laying around sleeping and my youngest daughter wasnt' feeling good either. My oldest daughter was babysitting, so I just didn't worry about a whole lot of fussing. Saturday I had to take my father to dialysis, then run some errands and babysit my grandchildren so we ended up having spaghetti dinner with my son & his family. Today was Sunday, so we went to church and came home to just relax. My knee and leg are really hurting probably from the cold and standing so much today. My youngest, is babysitting, and the other one is off at a friends for the afternoon and night. My husbands been playing around with his 'hobby', and watching westerns on tv, so I spend the time trying to get my computer fixed and working....yea I seem to have succeeded.

So what did YOU do for Easter weekend??? I'd love to hear from someone, and hope you're all keeping well.

God Bless!!

He Is Risen

Twas many, many years ago

When Jesus Christ was born,

So very many years ago,

Upon that special morn.

A child who came to teach us

About our Father in Heaven

He came to help His people

To share with us good news.

He was the chosen one of God

To come and help us all

Reaching out to all around Him

As He helped both sick and poor.

He knew what God expected

And He did all that He could

To serve His loving Father

He obeyed and followed Him.

And when the people came for Him

Saying that He'd broke the law,

Accusing Him of falsehoods,

And for that He'd have to die.

They cursed and called him names,

Put a crown of thorns upon His head,

Then made Him carry a huge cross,

And beat Him all the way.

They nailed him to the wooden cross

Put holes within His hands,

Then hammered more into His feet,

And made the cross to stand.

Before the angry throngs of men,

They hung him from that cross,

And there on each side of Him,

They also hung two thieves.

They left Him there to die

A gruesome, painful death,

And when His time was over

God reached out in love to Him.

His mother and disciples

Took His body off that cross,

They wrapped Him up in linens,

Then laid Him within a tomb.

They then observed the Sabbath

And all rested as they should

Then took both spice and fragrant oils

To the place where Jesus laid.

The stone was rolled out from the tomb,

No body did they find,

But two men stood in shining robes

Telling them He was not dead.

They told them He was risen,

No longer in the tomb,

The Son of Man was rescued

Crucified, but now alive.

Jesus appeared unto His disciples

Saying "Peace be unto you"

He gave them understanding

Of the Scriptures we should learn.

He told them it was written

For the Christ to suffer death

And that on the third day after

He would rise up from the dead.

And as He stood there blessing them,

The heaven's opened up,

And God reached down and took Him

To live with Him above.

So on this Easter weekend

Think upon these many things,

Remember that our Father,

Loved each and everyone of us.

Christ died upon the cross that day

For the sins of all mankind,

So all we really need to do

Is repent of all our sins.

If we will do this thing He asks,

Believing all He did,

Then we will have eternal life

And go to be with Him.

Remember Christ this weekend

In everything you do,

And know that He is right there,

Watching over you.

God Bless and keep you throughout this Easter weekend. Remember that He Is Risen, and looking out for you. Remember that He loves you, and for eternity will be with YOU.

Dawn M.

April 5th, 2007

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Just to say hello

I know it's been a long time since I've come here to post, but hey, I'm here!

Spring is officially here, so lets hope that we don't see anymore snow. Today temperatures got up close to 20-degrees Celcius. Wow, that's hard to believe when only a week ago, it was snowing.

Just wanted to stop by to say hello if anyone even comes to read anything here anymore.

Have a great day and an even better tomorrow. God Bless!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Our First Snowfall of the Season

The date: Thursday, October 12th, 2006

Today many people were shocked with a drastic change in weather. It’s only the middle of October, and today we received snow. Just a few short days ago, we were basking in sunny, warm temperatures in the 70’s, as we celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving. We were enjoying the peak of our autumn season, and the many wonderful colors of bright gold, crimson red, deep orange, brown and greens, that we often see at this time of year when the leaves change color and fall to the ground. The ground is basically covered with snow, along with the many tree tops around that are still laden with leaves. The colorful beauty of autumn was turned into a wicked, and dangerous situation as heavy snow fell all around us. High winds also played havoc, causing blowing and white out conditions.

Some areas of the USA such as Buffalo, New York, along with many areas all around the great lakes have become dangerous places, because of the heavy snow, and fallen branches. I heard on the news that some areas have so much show that they have already cancelled school for tomorrow.Heavy wet snow, created havoc in the streets, and weighed down the branches of many trees that were still full of bright, colorful leaves. The weight of this snow in combination with the weight of the leaves, has caused the branches of trees to snap off. As this happens, broken branches are laying all over and cluttering many streets, pulling down hydro lines and causing great danger as they fall to the ground. This is a highly unusual situation for this time of year. Cold temperatures, heavy snowfall, and high winds have caused hazardous conditions in many cities around the great lakes, but especially around the Buffalo and western New York area, along with some parts of Ontario, Canada.

I can hardly believe that we had snow at this time of year. I’m sure we must be setting some records for this much snow so early in the season!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thankfully the snow didn't last for more than a few days here, but it certainly sounds like there are many places in New York and in the midwest part of Canada that still have snow, or received even more. I'm sure winter is going to come soon enough but mid October is way too early. This week we've had a few days of warmer temps. sunshine, and rain. As I look around though, I notice how many of the trees around here are almost bare. The leaves have fallen off and all of the beautiful colours that were there last week are now gone. Another part of our autumn season here in Canada!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Summer Memories

Outside my window, I can see the leaves on the trees blowing softly in the breeze. The sun is shining, and it looks like a beautiful summer day out there. Off in the background, behind the trees, float some fluffy, white powderpuff clouds, with a brilliant blue sky off in the horizon.

All around me I can hear the sound of laughter as children play outside with their friends. A dog is barking in the distance, and it seems to start up a chain of different barks and sounds as another dog barks back.

There are birds singing and chirping, and flying in and out amongst the trees. A squirrel scampers across the ground, and another one leaps from the tree branches, and onto a nearby fence. It runs across the top of the fence, then scampers down to the ground in search of food. I hear a very light tapping, and look up in time to catch view of a black and white woodpecker as it creeps about the tree trunk in search of insects. I keep watching and listening till I catch sight of a chipmunk running across the grass and in and out of the little places where it hides, and searches for food. It has some food in it's mouth, so must be heading for it's little burrow in the ground to hide it with it's store of winter provisions.

I walk slowly along the pathway, and under the trees as I head for the lake. The path is still covered with the various leaves that fell during the winter, along with a bed of pine needles which is scattered around the base of each tree.

As I draw closer to the lake, I can hear the waves gently lapping against the shoreline. On the beach there are a few people still sitting in the sand, and enjoying the last of the summer days. A few people have even ventured into the water, and are splashing merrily in the waves. The younger crowd doesn't seem to be at all concerned about the temperature of the water. They run, splashing amongst the waves, playing ball, and building sand castles.

Now that the evenings are starting to get cooler, I'm sure it must be cooling the temperature of the water down as well. I kick my sandles off and venture into the shallows for a little while, and walk up and down the beach, enjoying the warm rays of the afternoon sun.

A few seagulls fly overhead, sqaulking and carrying on in hopes that someone will throw them some food. Then I hear the sound that I really love. The cry of the loons as they call out to one another. I find them fascinating to watch as they paddle across the lake, then dive down under the water and disappear. I watch in anticipation, waiting for them to come back up to the surface. You just never know where they are going to pop back up, or how far down the lake they might travel in their search for food.

It has been a remarkable summer filled with many wonderful memories. Times around the campfire, or curled up in a warm blanket as someone shares a story; great moments together frolicking in the lake, swimming , canoeing, and even some fishing. Special moments with nature and viewing the wildlife of this area; but most of all, moments to treasure and most special of all are those spent with loved ones.

Another summer has passed us by, and we've been blessed to enjoy this amazing and beautiful place full of God's creations.

It is a place where I've been able to enjoy great serenity, and peace, and the love of my family. I've watched on as my children have stepped out and met the challenges of new and wonderful things around the lake.

Another season has passed us by, and it is time to move on. School will be starting soon, and with it will come the arrival of autumn's charm, and changing colours.

Memories are built around these special places and moments in our lives, and they are times I truly want to remember with my family all around me.

Another time and season has passed, and I will look forward to returning again another time, once I have enjoyed a few more changing seasons and events. For now I will treasure the moments that I have left, and look forward to new ones.

by Dawn M.

What Does Your Life Hold?

Is your life full of laughter, or does it hold a few tears? Is your life perfect, and without problems or are there little things that come up every now and then, in which you place worries, doubts and fears before you? There will always be storms come into our lives, but hopefully, there will always be rainbows, sunshine & laughter as well.

No matter what our lives may hold or how difficult they might seem, all we need to do is to look around us and listen to the stories of others to learn what trials and tribulations others must face. Listening to the stories of others will quickly make you realize that your trials are perhaps not so bad.

Have you ever looked at someone, and judged them by the size of their home, the type of car they have, the size or color of their body, the things they seem to have or not have, the cleanliness and organization of their home, or perhaps the way they dress? Have you ever stopped to really think about what the other person might be dealing with on the inside and within their lives? Are things really the way they appear on the outside, or is there more?

Have you ever stopped to think about the storms that could possibly come into a person's life? Have you ever really stopped to take a look around you and allow your eyes to see beyond the outer extremities of a person's life and situation and place in life, and truly looked inside?

I like to always remember back to that old phrase that I heard often when I was growing up….and that was that "you can't ever judge a book by its cover". You can't judge a person by the clothes they wear or the way they look or the house that they have or don't have. You can't judge a person's life by those outward things either.

We all have different stories and lives to view. We all go thro' different emotions and trials and storms in our lives, and often those things are kept hidden within our lives just like the pages of a book that someone has never opened.

Have you ever stopped to ask how a person is, or how they feel, or if everything is truly ok in their life? Don't always assume that a person has money because they live in a big house, or that they are lazy because they don't seem to accomplish the same things as you. Don't always assume that a person feels fine because by all outward appearances they look great, or that because they look happy their life must be great. We all deal with things differently and we all have different things in our lives that others are really not aware of. We all have things in our lives that others cannot even comprehend or understand because they have not walked a day in our life.

I can't help thinking about this each time another storm arises within my life and the turmoil and stress of that situation feel like more than I can deal with or endure. I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm able to bear up through every storm, or that my life is anymore difficult or easier than anyone else, because I know it's not. We each have our cross to bear, our wheelbarrow full of manure to get rid of, our financial burden's to cope with, our own struggles and pain to endure. We all have good days and bad days, but that doesn't make our lives any less or more important that anyone else's.

What is important is how we deal with all of these things, and how we react to others. Do we open our hearts and souls to others or reach out to them when we see them struggling or are we just too caught up in all the things we are dealing with ourselves?

Are we willing to reach out to others and to listen to what they have to say or share, or do we close our eyes and think only of ourselves, unable to even consider anyone else?

I sure know what it feels like to struggle with things and to go thro' difficulties, but I also don't feel that my problems are any greater or less than others. They are just very difficult for me to go thro' and my problems. They are my own struggles and storms that I personally face.

What I value most through these struggles and trials is the value of friends and someone who I can turn to when I need to. Friends are the most precious gifts in life that I have learned to value and treasure. Through both good times and bad times my friends are there for me to encourage, listen, help, cry and laugh with. They are true friends who will listen to my needs, my joys, my accomplishments, and my failures. They will be there for me when I need someone, and in turn I will do the same.

No matter how many storms come my way, I know I will do ok in my life, because God has blessed me with the gift of some very special friends who truly care about me.

One day I realized all of that as I found myself faced with some problems that seemed overwhelming. I was upset and hurt by somethings that had happened, but a special friend was there for me. Through talking and sharing, I also learned of some things she was dealing with. We spent the afternoon together, and by the time we left and went our separate ways we were both feeling a lot better and glad that we had been able to spend time with one another.

I am blessed in my life because I do have some very special friends!

Days Ending

The darkness has settled

As the evening draws nigh,

My eyes now grow heavy

As I sit with a sigh.

Off to bed I must wonder

And then I lay down

Pull up the covers

To sleep I am bound.

My body is weary

My pains they are great

I take time to settle

As the time now is late.

I toss and I turn

As my thoughts start to wonder

Just how can I settle

Is something I ponder.

Then I fall to my knees

To the Lord I will pray

It's the perfect ending

To a beautiful day.

I ask Him to help me

And all those I love,

For He is my Father

Who lives up above.

I ask God for comfort

I pray for my friends

My thoughts finally settle,

As the day finally ends.

The Golden Years

Have you ever thought ahead about those Golden Years people talk about? I believe most people consider the years once you hit age 60 to be the start of those Golden Years. I ways figured that when I reached the age to retire I would be able to enjoy those years, not having to work, or worry about finances, and doing some things that are fun and enjoyable.

One thing that I heard continually repeated while I was at the hospital with my father recently, and also in the surgeon's office was the remark about those "Golden Years". Too often the question was asked, "What happened to those golden years?" Most people said it jokingly, but I could tell from the many comments, and the sadness in some of their eyes, that many were also questioning it and wondering why they had so many health issues to contend with, now that they are older. They really were wondering why someone referred to this time in their lives as the golden years.

For people struggling with numerous health issues, it seems that these years are not so golden for them. Worry about their health, losing their vision, dealing with the loss of a spouse, and wondering how they will be able to manage on their own were just a few of the concerns people had. Many people were not financially carefree as they had hoped, and not able to enjoy this time in their lives for so many reasons. Some were still living on their own, and trying to remain independent, while others were dependent upon their children and families.

I can certainly understand their concerns when I see so many of the things they are struggling with. When your health is failing, when things seem to constantly be going wrong, when you can no longer do the things you used to be able to do. People do start to question what is happening in their lives. Is it any wonder? They are facing disabilities they never even thought they would have to worry about.

I am still in my 50's, and I wonder myself what sort of life I have to look forward to in my 'golden years' as I struggle already with the pain of fibromyalgia, and arthritis, and degeneration of disks in my back & neck, and the loss of cartilage in my knees and other areas, along with many other problems. My health is already a problem. While I am so far able to still do most things, I am struggling with the ability to do certain things. My pain and ability to do things seems to get worse instead of better.

I think about my family background as well. My mom was pretty crippled up with arthritis for many years. She had her back fused, her hips replaced, suffered with diabetic, heart problems and cancer. It was her heart that turned out to be the hardest on her.

My father has a family history of strokes, glaucoma, and cancer. He has actually done pretty well until the past few years when his kidneys failed and he had to go for dialysis, and now most recently the eye surgery.

I wonder who decided to call those retirement years golden years? I'm sure there must be some people out there who are actually enjoying those years, and getting out and traveling with no financial concerns or other concerns. I think that's amazing and wonderful for them. For the rest of the senior population, I am still wondering and questioning what I have heard many of them saying.


Friday, August 04, 2006

Free as a Butterfly

I wish I was a butterfly,

So I could go off in flight.

Then I could fly all over,

Through endless days and nights.

I'd fly across the cities,

The fields, and then the lakes,

I'd fly to warmer climates,

And see all that God has made.

I'd make the most of all I have,

And all I'm meant to be,

Make the most of the life I've been given,

And forever I'd be free.

copyright "Dawn"


God's love is so amazing

So kind and good and true.

He loves us all so very much,

He loves both me and you.

His Son was born of Mary,

His earthly parents found,

God chose the very best He could,

So His love would abound.

Jesus came to teach us,

About real love and joy,

He walked amongst the people,

Even as a little boy.

Then as He grew into a man,

He reached out to all mankind,

He told them of His Father's love,

And left no one behind.

Then came that day of horror,

When people turned on Him,

They tortured Him so terribly,

And life for Christ turned dim.

A crown of thorns was placed on Him,

As angry throngs of people came,

A heavy cross they made Him take,

Threw rocks and called out names.

Upon that cross they nailed Him,

Through both his hand and feet,

They raised the cross to face the crowds,

Cruel names they did repeat.

At both His sides they also placed,

Two theives each on a cross,

Both also nailed through hands and feet,

That day their lives a loss.

Christ suffered much upon that day,

Defeated and forsaken,

He died in pain upon that cross,

And then His sould was taken.

His body then was laid to rest,

A stone placed o'er the tomb,

The ones who loved Him sat and cried,

For them there was great gloom.

Then later on when He had passed,

They returned one day to pray,

The stone was gone, no body found,

They knew not what to say.

God raised His son from death,

Christ walked and talked with others,

And then before He left this place,

He saw His heavently mother.

Christ was given life again,

He died for you and me,

He rose to join His father in heaven,

Through Him, we too can be free.

Eternity can now be yours,

If you will just believe,

He died in love for all mankind,

You too can be set free.

copyright "Dawn"

Monday, June 12, 2006

Thursday, June 01, 2006

H E L P Can Anyone Help Me??

My post is a HELP. I have tried to change my blog. No matter what template I use, it doesn't come out looking like what I choose. All of my personal information that is supposed to be on the right, goes to the right and then to the very bottom instead of beside where it's supposed to be. Does anyone know how I can fix that?

A Trip To Ecuador

My husband is thinking about going on a short term mission trip to Ecuador this year. Our church supports the idea of people making this trip to go and share their lives and testimonies, and to take bibles & things for the children when they go. They have also help found a church over there and come to know a number of the people in the same area. Some of the people who are on the mission team have been over there a number of times and have really enjoyed the opportunity to go and be part of this trip and time of helping and sharing with these people.

Even though it's a short term trip of only 10 days, it means making a big committment, and coming up with the funding of $2200. along with some spending money. Along with that it means making arrangements with work, getting the proper time off, and committing to one night a week of meeting with the group and learning more about this trip, forming bonds, praying for one another, and working out all of the details of things. They all have to pay extra money on top of this cost to get the proper vaccinations and medicals that they need. Airline tickets need to be purchased, and a variety of other things arranged.

There are a few personal things that he needs to check into and to see about. A few of these things could mean the difference of whether he's allowed to go or not. It would not be nice to get to the airport, with luggage packed and to be turned away, so I hope anyone reading this will keep him in your prayers.

The cost is something that may seem minor to many, but when I look at those figures I look and think it might as well be a thousand, as it's going to be very difficult to come up with.It's not something that is easy for us to do, especially when you live from paycheck to paycheck. It's going to mean giving up some things in order to try and come up with any of the money, and trusting that God will provide. It means having Faith that everything will work out the way it's supposed to, and the way that he is trusting for.

It's a trip that I would love to be able to go on. An experience of a lifetime. One that I can only imagine just like any other form of travel and going places, because it's something I've never in my life been able to do. Just a dream, and an impossibility unless God saw fit to heal me and to change a lot of circumstances. But if I can't go on this trip, then perhaps I will be able to experience thro' others, which is what I've been doing these past few years. Keeping in touch with those who are going, praying for them, helping out when I might possibly be able to, listening to their stories, and viewing their pictures, picking people up at the airport.... There are certainly ways to experience things without actually doing it physically so I'm hoping that's what I'm able to do. For now I will have to be content to help my husband reach his goals and actually be able to go on this trip.

Another experience in his life, and his memories. Hopefully one that will be a rewarding experience both for him and all the others who are going on this trip.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

May 30th...Just another ordinary day...?

It's May 30, 2006
Just another ordinary day...?
Well, it was my dog Priscilla's 1st birthday, and no I didn't do anything to celebrate. I was babysitting my two youngest grandchildren today. I was also very thankful that J. was at home and available to help out with them. It was also the hottest day of the year so far. The temperature on the thermometer got up to 34oCelcius today. It was HOT. I don't know how people in some of those warmer climates manage to stand the extreme temperatures that they get. I suppose their bodies grow accustomed to the heat when they live with it for so long. Trouble is, here in Canada, we have basically four season's to our climate. Winter, spring, summer & autumn(fall). Right now we are still supposed to be in spring. Only a week ago it was so cold here we were getting snow and having to wear out winter coats once again. Now it's so hot you can hardly stand it. Our bodies don't even have a chance to adapt to the changes properly. Our blood doesn't know if it should welcome the cold or the heat. Seems summer is coming earlier each year, and our season's are all mixed up.
This week seems to be a rather busy one, with so many things scheduled and going on. J is home all week as she chose not to go on her year end class trip. Last night I had a meeting, tonight I had a meeting, and tomorrow I have a meeting...not to mention the various things going on during the days.
This evening E. came home and went off hunting for wild turkey right away and came home some time during the evening while I was still out. He plans to do the same tomorrow evening, and when he comes home, he's off to bed. So seems we are ending this month off with a busy schedule, much like how many other days & weeks end up.
I don't like to be out so much, especially in the evenings when the girls are home, but they too seem to be developing their own schedules as well. It is surprising how many others live their lives this way, but somehow seem to find or make time together for family events.

Today is almost 37 minutes from this moment. Twenty five years ago today, E & I were married. Yes, it is, or was our 25th wedding anniversary. I suppose a big event for some.... but even our wedding day didn't go as we had planned twenty five years ago. We had planned on going off on a honeymoon in Niagara Falls. We had been told it was the honeymoon capital. We never did make that trip.

My mom suffered her first major heart attack that day, and ended up in the hospital. I couldn't leave town not knowing what was happening. Apparently it was quite severe and she had damaged her heart extensively, because she had been experiencing the chest pain since the night before and didn't say anything as she didn't want to spoil my wedding. That was the beginning of many hospital stays for my mom. That same year she also went through a triple by-pass with open heart surgery. After her surgery she seemed to be better for awhile, although she ended up in and out of hospital with various other problems with her arthritis, her back, her hips...etc. My folks went thro' a period where they felt they wanted to follow their hearts dream and move to Manitoulin Island. They lived up there for several years, but there were also a few scares with mom's heart and they were lonely and too far away to visit very often. They missed their children, and their grandchildren, so another move was made back to live with my brother. It was nice to have them back living closer, and being able to visit with them. I know they were a lot happier being nearby their family. My son was much older by this time and out on his own, so we began making plans for a honeymoon/trip. We were going to take the motorcycle and go out to the east coast. A few months before we were actually thinking of going, I found out I was pregnant. If I could manage to carry this child to full term it would be a real miracle after all my previous disappointments. For this reason, we also cancelled our motorcycle trip, and announced to our family that I was actually pregnant, and the doctor's were using some higher doseages of progesterone to help me maintain my pregnancy. It was a miracle and we were blessed with a beautiful, healthy daughter. My parents offered to help me out when I eventually would return to work and said they wanted to babysit. That helped me out a lot for the first little while, but it was not to be. My mom suffered a really bad bout of congestive heart failure. Her health was failing ,and she just wouldn't be up to looking after her grandaughter any longer, and it would be too much for my father to manage. Thankfully I was able to find a lovely Christian lady who was willing to look after our daughter, so I could continue working. I also ended up spending a little more time running back and forth from the hospital as the congestive heart failure worstened. Sometimes there were longer periods between the bouts, but it was often a great concern and worry for me. When I found out I was pregnant again, we were both so happy. Unfortunately I suffered yet another miscarriage, so life continued on. Then I discovered once again that I was pregnant. I started back on the special treatments, and once again we were blessed with another pregnancy, and a beautiful little girl. This time the delivery was very difficult , and I hemhorraged so badly they almost lost me. I couldn't even get out of bed or sit up because of the horrible pain I was experiencing. I grew very weak and couldn't even get out of bed to change my newborn's diaper. I was stuck in the hospital unable to look after my two year old, and my newborn. After several proceedures, and a number of blood transfusions, they managed to save me, and after 8 days in bed, I was finally able to get up and move around. It was a very slow process, but I continued to get better. While my parents loved spending time with their two grandaughters, my mom's health was getting worse. Her back was bad, her hips not too good, and her heart was failing. Thankfully she was able to witness her newest grandaughter take her first few steps and then eventually begin walking all over. The trips to the hospital were becoming more urgent and more frequent, and her recovery taking longer and longer.
Only a short time before my parents anniversary, my mom was once again rushed into the hospital with congestive heart failure. This time it really took it's tole on her. Her hospital stay was not a pleasant one, and something I won't get into now. Once night she fell, and from then on, she was in a lot of pain, and gradually going downhill. That Sunday morning I decided not to attend church, but felt compelled to go and visit her. I'm glad I did, as I found her all alone, sitting shivering with no one helping her. Anyway, after I got her cleaned up and dressed and into bed. While I was sitting there talking to her she died. The whole situation was not a good one, but I was thankful that I had at least been there with her.
A lot has happened in my life since that day that she died, both with my children, my marriage, job situations, etc. My dad's health eventually got bad and he ended up having to be put on dialysis. Now his vision is failing. He had to quit driving last summer after he had celebrated his 80th birthday. It really is sad to think about what many senior's experience in their supposed 'golden' years. That's another story for later. Life goes on.
So we didn't end up doing anything special for our anniversary, nor did anyone really even remember it was our anniversary much less our 25th. That's ok...we will survive, and once again, life does go on.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Priscilla approx. 5 weeks old

Happy Birthday Priscilla.
You are 1 year old on May 30, 2006.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Love in the Little Things

Love in the Little Things.
(Just a little poem I tried to write)

We don't have a great big mansion

our house needs a lot of repairs,

We don't drive a fancy limo

Just some old ones in need of some care

We rarely go out to the restaurants,

But we do get enough to eat

We don't get to go on the airplanes

Or off to some fancy resort.

We're lucky to find time for vacation

Or a place we can go to relax.

We don't wear expensive clothing

Or worry about things being in style.

We go off to the stores & the outlets

And look for cheap prices & sales

Our TV has the minimal channels,

But at least we can turn it on.

We still have some basic conveniences

Like a microwave, washer & dryer.

We still have a toaster & kettle, & also a coffee machine.

And we still have a fridge and a stove.

We don't have a house that is spotless,

But at least we have a place to live.

Our bills aren't always caught up,

But we do the best that we can.

We don't have a great deal to offer,

But we will learn to survive.

Our Father in Heaven is watching o'er us

And He will be there to provide.

For it's all in the little things around us,

And His love that we can always find.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Blogging, writing, reading....

Have you ever wondered why people blog? Do they blog for the fun of it, for the chance to put their thoughts down in writing, for the audience...or for other reasons? When I first started blogging, I did it for my own benefit. For the chance to put some of my thoughts down in writing, and after awhile, I started doing it as much for myself as I was perhaps doing it with the realization that others might be reading it. Do the comments of others really matter? I used to think no, but there are times I looked to see if there were any comments and found myself a little disappointed. I'm not really sure why either, because as I say, my original plan when I started this was for my own benefit.

Blogging is a way of making contact with others...that is if they happen to read your blog. It is a way of keeping in touch with friends, and family to let them know what's happening in your life. It is a way to write down your feelings and express your self. It is a way to find release in writing down your innermost feelings. I wonder how many strangers and people read the blogs who don't know us; who don't know anything about our lives until they read the things we write.

It's been awhile since I checked my blog, or wrote anything here. I'm not really sure why. I haven't particularly felt up to blogging recently, nor have I felt up to doing a whole lot of things as my pain as increased, and my allergies and sinus have acted up. I've also been feeling really stressed out financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually..... I'm not really sure why. It seems to often happen at this time of year. For many it's the winter months that bring on the emotional stress; the darkness, and short days of sun, not getting out amongst people in the same way, and often a difficult time financially after the crunch of Christmas.
I used to enjoy mother's day, but since my mother is no longer alive, and I have no mother in law, or grandmothers, and I've allowed myself to grow apart from soem certain people, there is no one for me to really concern myself about. It was also on mother's day last year when we lost our precious Sheltie of 10 years. I still miss him, although we now have another Sheltie to take his place.

Finances are really tight...and that's a big issue and problem around here. I am not able to work, and yet have been unable to qualify for any sort of pension, and disability plan. I live in constant pain. I hurt all over some days and can't hardly move. My legs are painful most of the time, and the worst is in my knees with bone rubbing against bone because the cartiledge is all worn away. I'm not really sure where it goes to but apparently it's all gone. My energy levels are minimal at the best of times, and I am finding my life pretty stressful at the moment. There are a lot of things I just cannot talk about or share on here because it's not the thing to do.

I've also been spending time on a site called "Gather". I go to gather to write stories, poems, interesting things about me, and I'm able to read what others have written about themself, or the various stories that they have written. It seems to be a rather friendly group of people who share some common ground in the interest of reading and writing. I think it's a great site, and I just wish I had more stamina and ability for writing and for doing the work that is needed to become a writer. It is something I do enjoy doing. Better yet, it would also be a perfect answer to my prayers, as it is something I would actually be able to do here at home, without worrying if I'm able to get out and work at a regular job.


If anyone enjoys writing, be it short stories, poetry, real life stories. etc. then Gather is an interesting place to be. I know I enjoy it. As for blogging here, I do the best I am able to, which lately hasn't been much writing on here.

Perhaps another day ....

Friday, March 17, 2006

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Start of March Break

It's March Break! Today I watched my lovely 14 year old daughter go off with a local group on a coach bus. She was so excited to be going on this trip. Her first opportunity, and visit to Florida. So amazing! I am so proud of her too. She saved up for this trip for a long time, and she paid for most of it all on her own. She is very fortunate to have this opportunity to go there, and to have some special friends in which to share it with. I've never been there in my lifetime, and somehow I suspect it's a place that I never will have the chance to see. I'm just glad that she has been able to go, and I pray that it will be a wonderful & happy experience that she will never forget.
It's a long trip down there on the bus. They were going to be travelling for at least 25 hours. They won't even arrive at the camp until sometime tomorrow afternoon. The kids who were going seemed so excited. They have lots of activities planned for them to enjoy this week, and I'm looking forward to hearing all about her trip.
Whatever am I going to do to keep my 11 year old busy? Today we decided to venture out on this bright, spring like day, and went to visit my friend with the Irish Wolfhound pups. She has three litters of pups at the moment, 20 puppies in total. One litter is already 6 1/2 weeks old. One is three weeks, and the other litter is only two weeks old. They are all so adorable. I love the tiniest little one, all the way up to the biggest ones. The older ones are now getting more playful, and starting to show their colours & personalities more. As they grow, they are starting to look more and more like little visions of their parents. We were able to take them outside in the sunshine and let them play and run about. I took turns picking them all up and cuddling them, and getting them to run around the yard. I know my daughter was certainly enjoying the time with them as well. One they were tuckered out, we went in and went for a swim in the warm, indoor pool. Great for easing the pain in my legs. I wouldn't have minded staying in there all day, as it was certainly helping with the pain. Once out, we spent some time with the other pups, and got to hold the youngest ones, and help get them out and settled to be nursed by their mommy, while our friend took care of the other pups & mom. The middle aged ones are also starting to drink from a bowl, and are getting an added milk supplement, and they seemed to be doing really well. We stayed as long as we could, and enjoyed a nice dinner with them then had to head home finally. I thought it was a pretty good start to March Break. They also lent us their newest movie, Harry Potter, and the Goblet of Fire. That took care of our evening and put an end to a pretty good day.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Spiritual Gifts

These are a few different sites you can visit for tests on searching for your spiritual gifts. Have you ever checked them out or discovered what your spiritual gifts happen to be? do you find they actually reveal something that you feel comes close to what you feel is right?
Have fun and check them out!

Found this picture that says exactly what my site is about.
Just taking things "One Day at A Time".

Sunday, March 05, 2006


I keep thinking that I want to start writing more on my blog, or on another site I've joined, but I seem to have this block. I don't know what to write about or how to get started on anything these days. When I do get started on something, I tend to lose track of my thoughts, or get interupted. Some people seem to write something regularly, and have such a natural ability and gift with their words. I'm afraid I tend to stick to the much simpler words. I wonder if it's too late to start learning how to do new things? I've often thought how nice it would be to just have the time & the creative mind to start writing a book or even some short stories.

I've been told that it's a good idea to write something everyday, no matter what one writes. It's supposed to be the exercise of writing daily that is important. Learning how to use words that are both creative and descriptive, and that will allow the readers to hear, smell & feel what the writer is talking about; deleting excess words, and adverbs; using verbs and short, concise paragraphs, along with words that communicate. Don't use a lot of cliches, or little words, like also,and, that...; and try to put some order into your thoughts. Sometimes that's a challenge too, along with trying not to put in a lot of words and thoughts that don't support your story line. These are only a few simple suggestions that have been shared with me. I'm sure from the many books & articles out there that it would take years to even begin to read them all and learn the things that need to be learned. I suppose all one can do is to take some courses, or find a good book that gives advise, and do the best you can. For those with a natural, God given ability, I'm sure all they need is some simple instructions on "how to" and they are off. It's obviously not the type of thing that everyone is able to do. I think perhaps I fall into this category. It's just something that I enjoy doing, and think would be nice to be able to do. When I see what others put into writing, I feel so inadequate.

I wonder if I had taken some courses when I was younger if I could have learned and acquired the ability to write! I know I certainly had a much easier time putting things into writing, and keeping my thoughts on track and doing a lot more than I seem to be able to do now. I wonder if this is because of my age, or perhaps the fibro fog and pain that I live with that clouds my thinking? Is it perhaps that I never really seem to have a lot of time to just sit quietly, without interuptions, or perhaps that I just have too many things on my plate to keep my thoughts focused?
Is it perhaps that I've forgotten a lot of things that I once used to know? Perhaps it's just that I really don't have a lot of real knowledge on one certain thing that I can write about!

Having the gift and ability to be able to write and perhaps write something that could actually turn into a form of income would be nice, but I'm certainly not going to hold my breath. Then again, who really knows what the future holds. Miracles do happen!


Several weeks ago, I raced out of here one morning, anxious to have enough time to warm the car up and clean it off before I left to go pick up my father. We had received some heavy, wet snow that had covered everything. When the snow ended, freezing rain started up. There was a layer of snow on the car, along with some ice that had built up. Thankfully, I was able to clean off the car without too much effort. As I drove along, I discovered that the freezing rain was staying on the window, so I had to keep the defroster on high to try and keep it clean. The road was slippery in some places, but I didn't actually find it all that bad for driving, at least at that point. I picked my dad up to take him to dialysis, something I need to do 3 days a week, rain or shine, sleet or snow. There have been a few trips when the driving was pretty scary, esp. with all of the other traffic, but so far we've managed. Thankfully we don't have to travel too far.

Dialysis is a life saving treatment for patients whose kidneys have failed and no longer clean off the impurities & waste from the human body. It is a treatment that needs to be done regularly, and cannot be missed. It is something that once started, will continue for the rest of the person's life. In some cases, if the person is younger and a good candidate, transplant surgery can be an option. The only thing with this is that they need to find another good kidney that is a match. In most cases it is a close family member who donates one of their kidney's.. Anti-rejection medication has to be taken for the rest of the person's life, and hopefully they are able to handle it all and live normally. Our body has two kidneys, so we can actually survive with just one good functioning kidney. The problem is when we develop kidney disease and they end up quitting, or the level of function is reduced so much that it is not filtering the waste from our body. If our kidneys aren't functioning enough to get rid of the waste, then we either have to find something that will clean the waste, or be prepared to become quite sick and eventually having all of our organ's shutting down.

Dialysis is a huge commitment on the patient, and on the person who ends up driving them in the case of either younger children, or elderly patients. Some are fortunate enough to be able to drive themselves after a treatment, but because there is a higher percentage of people who are elderly ones, they often don't drive anymore and are in need of regular transportation. Treatment usually means going three times a week, for a period of approx. 3-4 hours, plus the time that is involved in hooking them up and taking them off of the treatment.

There are several different types of dialysis treatment, and the most common one used is done at the hospital or a special clinic which is hemodialysis. There are however a few treatment types that can be done at home and known as peritoneal dialysis. All are time consuming, and require commitment. About 90 percent of dialysis patients receive hemodialysis, in which the blood is circulated outside the body and cleaned inside a machine before returning to the patient.

My dad is going for the hemodialysis at the hospital, and needs to be driven to the hospital & picked up, 3 days a week. Thankfully the hospital in our town has a dialysis unit, which was started up approx. 3 or 4 years ago. If it didn't we would have to make the drive to another hospital approx. 1 hour's drive away. We did that for the first couple of months after he started treatment 2 ½ years ago, and it was really hard having to drive that distance, fill in the time waiting, and then driving back home thro' rush hour traffic, and miserable weather as we started just before winter. It was a long day for us both, and my dad found the added time in the car traveling, along with the stress of dealing with the traffic and weather conditions was just too much.

Before treatment can start they have to make several incisions in the chest & neck area, and this serves as the access area, going into an artery & a vein. Another way is to start an access place in the arm where an artery & vein are joined and allowed several months for it to heal before it can be used. This required some surgical time and tests at another hospital. Because of the type of access my dad has, he must go back down there every so often to get the line in his chest changed. The type of line that he has in his chest has a higher risk of infection, but is the easiest to access, and the least painful once it's been put in. It was the type that he chose, and has refused to have the one done in the arm. Perhaps because of his age since he's 80 years old, and he figures if he has to go for dialysis, then he's going to do it the most comfortable way he can.

One of the things with hemodialysis is the fact that the blood pressure can be affected by the treatment esp. if the patient has problems with their pressure. It's also an evasive treatment with the blood, and can be very tiring for the patient.

It is not a cure, but only a treatment. The only thing that can end the treatment, is a kidney transplant, and only if the body does not reject it. Patients must learn to watch their diets with great care, and their various levels will need to be monitored regularly.

The leading causes of end-stage renal (kidney) disease are diabetes and high blood pressure. The only way to avoid ending up with renal/kidney failure, is to start taking care of your kidneys when you are younger, and watching your diet.

If your kidneys are normal, they don't need special care. A healthy, balanced diet and enough water to quench thirst are adequate to keep kidneys working fine. Fad diets, such as those very high in protein, however, can hurt your kidneys. Drinking very little water, or an overabundance of water (more than 8 quarts a day), may also damage these organs.

Other than illnesses, the real kidney killers are drugs--they must pass through the kidney to be filtered out of the bloodstream. Some antibiotics, anesthesia medications, and antipsychotic drugs may damage kidneys. Even over-the-counter painkillers, if taken in large doses, may lead to kidney failure. In the same way, even common household chemicals can also harm your kidneys if ingested of inhaled so be careful.

For now, my dad seems to be doing well on dialysis, and we try to plan a lot of the days around his treatments and then do the other things that he needs to do. Thankfully dialysis is available as a life saving treatment for all who need it.